It started with an awkward comment over lunch and ended with an email that made my stomach drop. I usually eat at my desk, so when my coworker—who sits right beside me—asked me to stop bringing meat because the smell made her feel sick, I felt caught off guard and embarrassed. The next morning, I opened my inbox and saw a company-wide message from HR titled “Lunch Etiquette & Shared Workspace Considerations.” The timing felt too perfect to be a coincidence. As I read it, bracing for blame, I realized the message was calm and neutral—just a reminder to be mindful of shared spaces and to communicate respectfully. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if I had unknowingly become the reason for it.
Instead of letting that unease linger, I decided to ask her directly. When she arrived, I gently brought up the email. She looked genuinely surprised and explained that while she had spoken to HR, it wasn’t to report me. She had asked for guidance on how to handle food sensitivities without creating tension. She admitted that her comment the day before had come out harsher than she intended and shared that certain smells triggered nausea and headaches for her lately. Hearing her explain it openly shifted the situation—it no longer felt like a complaint, but a misunderstanding that hadn’t been handled well on either side.
We ended up having an honest conversation about what it’s like to share a workspace. I explained that eating at my desk was often the only break I had during busy days, while she shared more about her dietary needs being medical rather than personal preference. Once everything was out in the open, the solution felt simple. I agreed to take especially strong-smelling foods to the break room when possible, and she agreed to speak up kindly if something was bothering her. What felt like a conflict turned into cooperation the moment we actually talked.
Later that day, she surprised me by leaving a small container of homemade vegan cookies on my desk with a note that read, “For a fresh start.” We laughed and chatted as we shared them, and the tension that once filled our shared space was gone. The HR email that had caused so much anxiety ended up doing the opposite of what I feared—it encouraged understanding rather than division. It was a reminder that most workplace issues aren’t about winning or losing, but about listening, adjusting, and finding small ways to respect one another.
