Spicing up the relationship is something many couples do. Recently, a new sex trend has caught attention among those wanting to try something new: Cuckolding. So what is it? Here’s all you need to know.
Having an active sex life is a cornerstone in many relationships. As the days go by, with work, grocery shopping, working out, meeting friends, and whatnot, it’s easy to forget to give the romantic and sexual part of the relationship the time it deserves.
Luckily, there are many things couples can try to spice up – or rebirth – their sexual life. For some, the sex trend of cuckolding appears to do the trick. So what is it?
Per Cosmopolitan, it is pretty much “a form of consensual non-monogamy, where one partner watches their lover having sex with another person. Often, cuckolding involves the observing partner (known as the cuckold) being present in the room while they watch, but they could also observe by being sent messages or photos of what is happening or being told about it afterwards.”
There are, of course, many different types of definitions of cuckolding. But the examples above are generally what people refer to when speaking about it.
In 2020, while doing research for his book Tell Me What You Want, a person named Justin Lehmiller performed a survey among 4,175 Americans about their sexual fantasies.
Cuckolding – a new popular sex trend
For example, he asked about two different types of cuckolding fantasies: watching your partner have sex with someone else, and fantasies about having sex with someone else while your partner watches.
The psychologist found very interesting answers. 26 percent of heterosexual women, 42 percent of non-heterosexual women, 52 percent of heterosexual men, and 66 percent of non-heterosexual men had fantasised about watching their partner have sex with someone else.
Meanwhile, 40 percent of heterosexual women, 58 percent of non-heterosexual women, 50 percent of heterosexual men, and 55 percent of non-heterosexual men were seemingly less interested in the idea of having sexual intercourse with someone else while their partner watched.
“In general, women are more likely to fantasise about exhibitionistic cuckolding (being watched by their partner) than they are to fantasise about voyeuristic cuckolding (watching their partner),” Justin wrote.
“Women in general are more likely than men to picture themselves as the object of desire in their sexual fantasies. By envisioning themselves in an exhibitionistic role, one necessarily becomes the object of desire, unlike when one takes a voyeuristic role,” he continued. “So maybe this speaks more broadly to the ways in which men and women tend to see themselves in their fantasies.”
Sex educator involved in cuckolding says it will “save your relationship.”
So, how is it to be involved in a cuckolding relationship? Sex educator Adreena Winters from Bristol in the UK has done it herself and wants to make it less taboo.
Speaking to The Sun, Adreena, who’s written a book on the topic called So You Want To Be A Cuckold, said that the sexual trend can make the marriage blossom.
“It’s a great tool for any age or length of relationship,” she said.
“It may not spring to mind when you think about ways to keep a relationship afloat, but cuckolding can be invaluable,” Adreena continued. “Depending on why the relationship is in trouble, it can absolutely save it. Quality time and proper communication are often lacking in a relationship, but this forces couples to talk openly about their fantasies and what they desire.
She explained that the lifestyle of cuckolding acts as “a catalyst for conversations that might otherwise remain buried about fantasies, unmet needs, or unspoken curiosities.”
“One of the biggest challenges in long-term relationships is that we stop being curious about each other,” she continued. “Cuckolding reintroduces that curiosity in a safe, structured way. It allows couples to re-engage emotionally and erotically.”
